

Debauchery comes from not dealing with one's problems.


Going back there was such a mistake.

I was clearly so much happier at home.

But maybe it was right. 

Maybe I needed to get out there. See it to the end.

Right now, the question. Do I rest before the war?

Could I be as happy there as I was in 2019?

And then, before I left, I became unhappy again.

I was so anxious all the time.

Never knowing when Aliza would come down on me.

And it is the same with Nate.

But, on the other hand,

Fights must be seen to the end.

We cannot falter. Cannot run.


I hate this feeling, to be honest.

Or maybe I love it. I don't know.

What do I really want?

I want to ...

ugh.


I want Noah and Delaney in a more humid place.


We need to figure this out.

Have a real conversation about it.

Not distract ourselves like fools.

I need to talk to him tomorrow.

And Kyle.

If he's serious about investment.



Noah fucked me up with those mushrooms. To be honest.

These drugs aren't good for me.

Only caffeine.

Even that isn't really good. 

But it's so much better than everything else.

Should I just pull an all-nighter?

I'm so hungry and I need to do stuff.

I am go slow.





I need to READ and DELETE all my notes. Why TF are they even in there?


So disorganized.